At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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