I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She told me I should be a condom model.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
