If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
