"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
