I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wish there were birth control emojis
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
