I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
