i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
operation harelip BJ is a go
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize
