so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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