How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
