my phone needs a breathalizer
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
These tits shall not be calmed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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