Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
