went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
