Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
and she was petting her beer can
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
