i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
