I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im about as happy as oj after his trial
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
