I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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