I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
