I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
