just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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