I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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