I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
