After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
