Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
