I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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