Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
