And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize