i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
