Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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