Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Non-Jews are for practice
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
