Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
