This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
