Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
