Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
