eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
