Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
