No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
