She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
