I must be too annoying 4 u.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
