I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
