Whoa Z and x make the same sound
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
