hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
