You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
