Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
