i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
