Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
