Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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