even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
