Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
