woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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