yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
